September can be surprisingly good at making us feel like we should be doing something: getting fitter, changing our career, learning something new, or simply doing more. But what if, instead of asking what we should be doing, we used this change of season to ask what we actually want?

The truth is that, for some, self-care can trigger feelings of guilt grief or both. And because you might be so unused to it, it can feel like a real grind before you can start to enjoy it, appreciate it and feel the benefit. 

You don’t have to be alone to feel lonely. But when you’re surrounded by people and still can’t shake it, it’s easy to tell yourself you must be imagining it.

You finally stopped. You’d been looking forward to it. So why do you feel worse, not better? There’s a reason for this, and it’s more common than you might think.

Are you bored of picking your words carefully, keeping quiet or not having enough fun? Or maybe you’ve had enough of constantly checking yourself whether that’s your appearance, your work output or the way that you hold yourself. Let’s look at what might be happening and how you can start to break free from the mould.

I’m a trauma-informed Counsellor and I’ve realised that the term ‘trauma-informed’ is a phrase that’s used a lot, but there is little consistency about what it means. As such, I thought I’d explain what being a trauma-informed Counsellor means to me.

It isn’t unusual to have felt, as a child, that tears weren’t okay. Perhaps your caregivers found tears uncomfortable. Perhaps they told you that it was better to ‘be strong’ or that ‘worse things happen at sea’.